My Darling Baby;
As you continue to grow and we continue to prepare for your arrival, I am constantly amazed at the excitement and participation your brothers show. Michael is more outward in talking to you and making plans for what he will do with you and what we need to get ready for you. Patrick, on the other hand, will often ask me how I am doing, if there is anything I need and how can he help. He is helping you through me. We had decided at the beginning of this pregnancy not to tell Kathryn, your 21-month-old sister, about you until the time got closer. Since she is still so young and doesn’t have a true concept of time, we thought telling her would be unfair.
We all talk about you freely and openly, but no one has directly pointed to my stomach and identified its growth as you. However, this has not stopped your sister from somehow piecing it all together and figuring out that you were inside of me.
About three weeks ago, I needed to go for an ultrasound. Your Nana stayed in the waiting room with Kathryn and Michael and at the end, they were all invited into the room. Katie sat on my legs as Nana and Michael stood beside me marvelling at your picture on screen. Katie looked on with the rest of us, but never indicated any special interest or understanding.
About a week later, Katie and I were sitting on the floor reading a book, when she suddenly looked up at me, pointed to my stomach and asked “ba-bee?” Startled, I responded, “Yes, there is a baby in there,” and left it at that. Kathryn, however, was not finished. Throughout the day, she continued to point to my stomach and say “ba-bee” a little more confidently each time. We began talking more and more about you. How you are so small and you needed to grow bigger. How you would come once you grew big enough and were ready to come out. Kathryn appeared to be fascinated and would not let the subject drop.
Over the next few days, the amount of time Kathryn spent playing with dolls increased greatly. She began feeding them, putting blankets on them and rubbing their backs. She would put them in strollers and pushed them around. For the past week, there is now always one beside her in bed at night. As we looked at more books with pictures of babies and I began to regularly point out babies we passed while we were out, Kathryn began piecing together more and more information about you.
If asked now about the baby, she will show people where you are by pointing to my tummy and through a series of words and sign language tell you: it will cry, smile, sleep, wear diapers and drink milk. If someone is very lucky, Kathryn will show her favourite picture – your ultrasound picture.
Your ultrasound picture presently sits on our fireplace. Kathryn wants to take it down and look at it so much, I know I have to get it photocopied before it gets wrecked. The first time she sat and looked at the picture, she was able to identify your head, legs, arms, fingers and stomach -an amazing feat for anyone not trained in reading ultrasounds.
She is so interested in your existence, it is hard not to catch her excitement. We know we must follow her lead and not push things too fast when we still have so long to wait for you, however, I must admit I am glad she has shown such a great interest thus far. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to say that all five of us – mommy and daddy, Patrick, Michael and Kathryn – are preparing for and are excited about your arrival in our own ways. Whatever shall happen and whatever shall be, there is no doubt you are already a much-wanted and loved member of our family.
May you continue to grow in peace.
Love,
Mommy
