I am 25 years old, have been married for a year and a half and look forward to having children. I am thrilled to know many friends and acquaintances who have also been discerning, preparing and entering into marriage over the last few years. It is not unusual to discuss having children and natural family planning with them. The underlying understanding for these couples is that the love driving their desire to be married and have a family is a choice, rather than something based on an ephemeral emotion.

It is easy to assume that many young adults are either against the idea of marriage altogether or missing the role of the life-long commitment. But I would challenge that notion, based on my experiences with other young couples whose views are like that of Colleen and Karl Gmach, married July 11, 2009, who say, “Marriage is forever, through the good and the bad. Children are a blessing and family is a great gift.” Colleen and Karl are expecting their first child in April.

Perhaps this is my view because I happen to be in circles where traditional values have been taught from the beginning. If that is the case, then I must thank all the parents who held on tightly to the values of family, love and marriage and handed them down to their children, who are now making decisions to start their own families based on these values.

It is no secret that divorce, abortion and contraception have been attacking the traditional family for decades. The results can be seen in the children who have had to live through divorces and missing siblings. I am hopeful, though, when I see many of my friends rooting their marriages in the understanding that love is a choice, rather than an emotion. They understand that when the feeling of love wanes or even disappears, the choice to love is still strong. They know that despite changing moods and feelings on a day-to-day basis, they will love their spouses, even if it hurts. Or especially when it hurts.

I recently polled friends of mine, either married or engaged, about these topics. Perhaps this is a biased group, but it is certainly worth recognizing and applauding their convictions. When asked about what they think is the secular view on marriage, love and family, many responded in the same vein that these concepts are viewed mostly with selfish desires and an immature understanding of true love and commitment. Johanna Miller and Pete Delp, engaged to be married in September, agree that, “Love in the secular sense appears more like lust – emotional, self-serving and superficial.”

If this is the understanding of a secular approach to marriage, love and family, how do the couples I interviewed approach the same topics? Laura and Shawn Van Bakel, married August 2009, recognize that in a secular context, many people understand love on simply an emotional level. “Therefore, you can fall out of love as quickly as you fell into it.” But Laura and Shawn counter that notion in their own married life, knowing that, “Love is a decision that takes work.” Gabrielle and Tim Waggoner, married July 2009, explain, “We believe marriage is the foundation of the family, which is the fundamental cell upon which society is founded.”

I would be remiss if I did not highlight how faith has played a part in the lives of these couples. All of them share the same faith with their current or future spouse. And all of them can share about how their faith played a central role while they dated, were engaged and now married. From daily prayers to regular Bible study and attending church together, these couples are making a serious effort to keep their faith in the centre of their relationship.

So what’s happening in the “real world,” you might ask. A well-known University of Lethbridge sociologist, Reginald Bibby, published some interesting findings about teenagers aged 15-19 last year in a book entitled The Emerging Millennials: How Canada’s Newest Generation is Responding to Change and Choice. His work included surveying 5,564 teenagers. He found that “family” was important to them and that 67 per cent (notably the highest in the last 25 years of doing these surveys) held traditional views on family life. In addition, most of those surveyed wanted to get married and have children. They also expect their marriages to last, with more focus on family-building than on career-building.

This is great news and it confirms what I am experiencing among my own friends. So, while today’s youth seem to be longing for true love, they aren’t always finding it and the culture doesn’t help. When is the last time you saw a movie or a TV program that espoused the virtues of true love, traditional marriage and the value of children? Aside from some of the reality shows on large families, more often we are bombarded with the opposite message.

We need to promote the values that youth are seeking, first by example and then in any way possible, so that individuals will find the answers to the deepest longings of their hearts. Society will be better off for it.

Call me old-fashioned and traditional, but I think the concept of lasting love that leads to marriage and a family is catching on again. I think my generation and the ones coming up want better … they deserve it.

Theresa Gilbert is executive director of the National Campus Life Network and a contributor to The Interim.