Over 200 women attended the first national Real Women of Canada conference, held on February 2 at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto. Women from British Columbia, Alberta, Quebec, Northern Ontario and Ottawa, as well as Toronto and Southern Ontario travelled at their own expense to meet each other and discuss the options and challenges for women in the 80s.
David Scott, a clinical psychologist and anti-pornography activist, was the first speaker. His topic, “The impact of pornography on society,” together with his all-too graphic slides and videotape, was eye-opening, not to say disturbing, for many of the conference participants.
Mr. Scott detailed the growing involvement in the pornography industry by organized crime in the U.S. not only is the industry a profitable one for such people, it is a way of desensitizing society so that such activities as prostitution, sexual deviance, political corruption, drug- taking and violence (all areas in which organized crime is active) become more acceptable to us and, therefore, more profitable to them.
Media violence is an area of great concern. Mr. Scott said that research is now showing that television viewing has a long-term anti-social impact. Studies now go back 25 years and the children who first viewed TV violence are now the parents who tolerate their own children watching such shows. Today’s children are exhibiting more problems at school, arrest records are going up and teenage suicide is escalating.
There is a direct link between pornography, even the so-called “soft-core” and rape and increased violence against women and children. Mr. Scott spoke of the “third assault” which he describes as children aged between 10 and 13 years old who have been sexually assaulted. These children are, increasingly, becoming assaulters themselves; choosing as their victims children as young as three years old.
Catherine Bolger, the next speaker, exploded the myth of sexual equality based on “sameness.” Mrs Bolger, director of the Centre for Life Understanding in Toronto, documented many male and female qualities and observed that both males and females have unique skills and advantages. She believes that equality depends on recognizing these male and female differences.
“Women will lose in the game of life if they insist on competing with men on the same terms,” she warned, and pointed out that woman’s biological superiority is being destroyed by the “pill-pushers.” She cited the birth control pill, the use of estrogen at menopause and the use of tranquilizers for minor emotional problems as extremely harmful to women.
Mrs. Bolger pointed out that it is women who have paid the price of the sexual revolution. This has led to more violence against women, she said, pointing to the rising statistics for battered wives. Divorce has increased, and we have more women struggling to be both the sole financial and emotional supporters of their families. More women and children live at poverty level after divorce. Through increased sexual partners, women run the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, pelvic inflammatory diseases, and cervical cancer. The figures for ectopic pregnancies, hysterectomies, breast cancer, maternal deaths through smoking, and abortion are all on the rise.
There are hopeful signs for the future, however. Mrs. Bolger said that more women are choosing “a biological fix, not technological damage,” citing the many women who are opting for natural family planning, childbirth and breastfeeding.
Grace Petrasek, president of Real Women and a marriage counsellor, discussed marriage. Instead of looking at the 40 per cent divorce statistics, she suggested we should focus on the fact that 60 per cent of marriages are health, happy and productive. Marriage is far from obsolete, she said, and pointed out that 95 per cent of all Canadians will marry at least once. Mrs. Petrasek said she believes attitudes toward marriage are beginning to change again and noted that young people today are more in favour of stability and the traditional marriage structure.
A greater emphasis on counselling before a marriage irretrievably breaks down is vital, said Mrs. Petrasek. “There is nothing new about unhappy marriages,” she pointed out, “what is more prevalent today seems to be the unwillingness of people to work through the stresses inevitable in every marriage.”
Mrs. Petrasek announced that Real Women has just published a new pamphlet called “Easy Divorce?” As the federal government intends to introduce new legislation to facilitate quicker divorces, Real Women are concerned with the implications for marriage such a move entails.
“It is well established that easier divorce laws increase the social acceptance of divorce,” the pamphlet states. Studies in the U.S. indicate that divorce rates soared where more permissive state laws were introduced. In Canada, there has been a 500 per cent increase in divorce since liberalization of the Divorce Act in 1968.
“If easy divorce becomes a reality in Canada, as in the United States, Canadian marriages will follow the predictable cycle of marriage, divorce and remarriage, what may be called ‘serial monogamy.’ The crucial attitude and approach toward lasting marriage, with its values of commitment and permanence, will be severely undermined by easy divorce.”
The luncheon speaker was Dr. Donald De Marco, writer and philosopher, whose light-hearted speech was much appreciated. Dr. De Marco’s theme was “cabbages and Roses” which he subtitled “Diapers and Diamonds.” He suggested that real woman can manage the “cabbage” or routine aspect of life and, at the same time, appreciate the roses. The modern-day feminist, he proposed, wants the roses without the cabbages and the diamonds without the diapers.
Dr. De Marco said that feminist organizations symbolize illusion. Feminists want a revolution: to ignore tradition and restructure society. He is far from convinced that women were ever oppressed by men.
Real woman, he suggested, have been at the centre of life throughout history. While men continue to be confused as to their roles, women have been stable, realistic and loving influences.
The afternoon session of the conference opened with presentations from four women giving their perspectives and reasons for joining Real Women.
Anne de Vos is single and a career woman who works in communications in Ottawa. Helen Smouter, a co-founder of Real Women, is a full-time mother in Burlington. Judith Anderson, a teacher, is a mother who works outside the home in Toronto.
All three women detailed their experiences and dissatisfactions with modern feminism. These women, all managing their lives and family responsibilities in different ways, presented a theme which ran throughout the conference. Real Women is an organization for women who believe that women are equal to men but different; it is not an organization for women who subscribe to the feminist ideology of equality.
The fourth panellist, Anne Ford, a nurse from Brockville, gave a personal account of how she, as an adult, cared for her elderly parents. She believes that it is important for Adult children to assume part of the costs of caring for aging relatives, that the state should not step in completely. “It’s a privilege to return the loving are that was once given to us,” she said. “It’s not a case of how much you spend, it’s a case of how much you care.”
The final speaker of the day was Gwen Landolt, a founder of, and legal counsel for, Real Women. Mrs. Landolt said, “We want to see a society that’s caring and meaningful and that sees us as women, not second-class males. We are equal but different.”
Mrs. Landolt rejects the feminist version of history which portrays women as exploited and victims. She believes that this underestimates the intelligence of women and suggests that they were trapped in unsatisfying roles. Feminism today is a straight-jacket, she said, and warned that women will be “ghettoized, as there is no such thing as women’s issues.”
Real Women wants options for women. There must be equal recognition of the valuable role in society played by the wife and mother who stays at home with her family as there is opportunity and equality for women who work outside the home.
Mrs. Landolt pointed out that, while family can obtain a $2,000 income tax deduction per child (up to a maximum of $8,000) for costs of day care when the mother works outside the home, there is no equal deduction available for families where the mother works in the home.
Real Women are calling for increased income tax exemptions and deductions for families to be available whether or not the mother works outside the home.
Pornography is detrimental to women, the family and society, Mrs. Landolt said. Real Women believes that pornography includes all sexually-explicit material and that the definition of pornography should recognize this.
Mrs. Landolt indicated that the federal government may be considering the legalization of prostitution. Real Women will oppose any such moves.
Mrs. Landolt will also oppose any no-fault divorce legislation because of its harmful effects on the family and society.
Mrs. Landolt believes that Real Women is speaking to a broad spectrum of social issues. The aim is, she said, “to take the best from the past, the best from the present and achieve a balance for the future.”
