This April, I have been invited to give two talks in the United States. The subject is “The Family” which is in such jeopardy these days that it deserves much attention.
Experts says, “The family is coming apart at the seams. There are as many divorces as there are marriages. In the U.S. 50% of marriages break up within a few years of the wedding.
One might argue that, “Perhaps the family is not as important as our grandparents thought it was. Society has such progress in this century and so many things have changed. Perhaps we don’t need the family anymore?”
Dr. Wilder Penfield, former president of the Vanier Institute, refutes this, “there never has been and there never will be a durable society based on any other system then the union of man and woman and child on fidelity to that union.”
Dr. Ross Campbell in his book, How to Really Love your Child, suggests that some ways to strengthen the family. He says that parents sometimes think that, no matter how much they do in raising their children, they will be failures because the children are under so many other influences such as the Church, school, peer groups, the neighbours’ kids, and Dr. Campbell says that “despite all the distractions, the home is the greatest overall influence in determining the character of the child.” Another book, called The Family Today, supports Dr. Campbell’s thesis: “The family is the source of human life. It is also the place where the members of society first learn to relate to others. Where family life is strong and healthy, these virtues will flourish and society will prosper; where family life is weak, the growth of these virtues will be impeded and society will have many evils.” We have only to look at the daily news to realize the truth of that statement.
In Dolores Curran’s Traits of a Healthy Family, she reveals that “communicating and listening” were chosen as the most important qualities of a strong family.
Curran stressed the importance of “table talk” or dinner conversation, which is communication at its best. She quotes child psychologist Dr. Lee Salk: “Meal time is incredibly important in this regard. People used to talk and listen at meal time, now they sit in front of the television sets with their dinner. I don’t care how busy you are you can take the time with your children. If we don’t spend time with out youngsters, they are not going to develop healthy attitudes toward family life.”
In my opinion, having the TV blaring during dinner is an insult to the rest of the family. What it says, “I’m more interested in that face and voice on the TV than I am in any of you.”
There is a story about a little girl who was doing her homework while her dad was watching a football game on TV. She said “Dad where’s the Taj Mahal?” He replied angrily, “Don’t you see I’m watching the game? Ask your mother. You know she puts everything away in this house.”
The family is an institution founded by God with order, pattern and relationship. Marriage is not just a contract; it is a covenant of love. You make the contract when you are buying a car or house; there is usually not much love in it. But marriage is a loving agreement to live together, to raise a family, if that is God’s will, and to grow in love with each other. The family is a community – a unified body of individuals. Christ told us that the husband and wife become “one flesh.” And the children are very much part of that community. Above all, the Christian family is meant to be Christ-centered.
The importance of having a religious foundation in the family cannot be stressed. Some call it a “religious core,” others, “spiritual wellness.” The example of the parents is a paramount importance in teaching the children to reverence a “Higher Power.”
As a Christian, I would like to stress the importance of attending Church on Sundays and having some form of family prayer in the home. When children see their parents on their knees it gives them a sense of the greatness of the Creator.
