The Gay Issue, 40 min. $25.00 (1993)
With
The Homosexual Challenge by Dr. Don Faris ($12 per book). Video and book combined: $29.95.
From Evangelical Fellowship of Canada (905) 479-5885.
Understanding Homosexuality and the Reality of Change, 60 min. $29.95 U.S. (1993)
From Impact Resources Corp. 1 (800) 333-6475.
We all know former alcoholics, people who have escaped from a history of addiction and substance abuse. Usually they left with the help of a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous. But how many of us realize that the success rate for leaving the homosexual lifestyle is even higher than for the successful treatment of alcoholism?
The Gay Issue is a Canadian documentary featuring six men and five women who tell of their journeys out of the gay lifestyle.
It was created for the Evangelical Church in response to the gay challenge. It addresses the political, social and legal ramifications of the gay movement in Canada. But it is also pastoral; it deals with the emotional wounds the gay person has experienced.
Arthur had been hurt by his parent’s divorce and then was sexually abused by his stepfather. “What I really wanted was to be in the arms of a loving father.”
Richard Weber was sexually abused in his teenage years by some friends of the family who told him it was love. “The only sense of affection I got was from these people. I was searching for real love. I wanted someone to love me without wanting my body in return.”
“I needed to be with God’s people because I had no people. All my gay friends left me within a week of my conversion,” explains Diane Bollis.
Christians need to bring repentant homosexuals in, to hold them, to say to them, “I’ll commit to you. I’m going to commit to this friendship and be there for you in the good times and the bad. I won’t be your lover but I will be your friend.”
Peter Heroux tells how, “In the acknowledgement of my despair God came over me with his love. He never said, “Peter, you’re a homosexual, repent. You’re addicted, repent.” Only, “Peter, I love you. I love you.”
“I am being healed of my brokenness. In healing that brokenness my homosexuality is being healed. To say God is centering on my homosexuality is wrong. God is centering on my brokenness. We’re all broken.”
Perhaps the most incredible story is that of Marjorie Hopper. Hopper’s parents had wanted a boy so Marjorie tried to be that boy. When she was 11 she saw her mother raped. She decided to be the gentleman that man wasn’t. She couldn’t afford a sex change operation but her psychiatrist assured her that, “You’re as much a man as you need to be.”
Hopper lived 43 years as a transsexual with 17 “significant” female partners. After a failed suicide attempt she began a painful 12 year journey out of the lifestyle. It was “hell” but she feels it was worth it. She now counsels others at Another Chance Ministry in Burnaby, BC.
“I realized homosexuality isn’t a sexual issue, it’s an identity issue. My clients share certain similarities: they were either sexually assaulted when they were young, or otherwise were severely abused or neglected.”
The Gay Issue also looks at the Toronto Board of Education’s controversial curriculum, Sexual Orientation, Homosexuality, Lesbianism and Homophobia. Dr. Mark Holmes of the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education condemns the resource guide as does psychiatrist Dr. Joseph Berger. Holmes claims the strongly ideological program presents sexual relations as primarily a matter of personal preference.
Dr. Faris’ The Homosexual Challenge which accompanies the video, is very readable and an easy entry into the issue in all its dimensions: legal, political, medical, psychological and spiritual. Its relevance to the current Canadian scene will be appreciated.
My only quibbles would be with his success rate for reorientation. He quotes a 30% to 50% rate of change when Masters and Johnson have documented a 72% rate and Dr. Robert Kronmeyer, 80%. Faris could have cited these even more hopeful sources.
Understanding Homosexuality and the Reality of Change is a sensitive and powerful video profiling four men and women who have journeyed out of the gay lifestyle. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, author of Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality and Joe Dallas president of Exodus International and author of Desires in Conflict are also featured at length.
This video contains no offensive material and doesn’t address gay politics at all. It only deals with the reality of change for those who wish it.
This is considered the best video for those wanting to counsel or to be counseled. Canon Bryan Pearce of the Montreal Pastoral Institute endorses it as “clinically accurate.” It is recommended by both Vina Sweetman of the Isaiah 40 Foundation in Montreal and by Pat Allen, executive director of New Direction for Life in Toronto.
Understanding Homosexuality clearly shows through the four people interviewed that when normal emotional needs that should have been met in childhood aren’t, emotional deficits result in adulthood. These longings for affection and nurturing are often met in inappropriate sexual ways in later life. The needs are real and should be met, but in nonsexual ways because the needs themselves are nonsexual.
One woman realized, “I can get my emotional needs met without having to have sex. As my self-esteem came up my sexual needs went down.” All four learned to relate intimately with others, to bond with their own sex first and then with the opposite sex. They learn that to be intimate and vulnerable with another human being does not necessitate sex.
Both films show there can be real healing, real change. Both are biblically sound, humane and compassionate. They are not inflammatory and offer authentic hope. Both stress there are no quick fixes, that such a complex process takes time. People have to be motivated, they have to want the change for themselves, not just to please Aunt Jane.
And they help us see that all of us live in a broken, fallen world; all of us stand in need of grace.
