The biggest failing in the world of politics today may be gullibility. You tell a politician with a sincere ring in your voice a whopping lie and he believes you! At one time with a pained look in their face they reached out for your neck to strangle you. Now they call in some flunkies and order them to see what they can do about implementing your wacky idea.

Here’s the latest one. “New Federal marijuana regulations will offer seriously ill people and their caregivers exemptions from criminal possession laws.” This is being announced by federal Health Minister Alan Rock shortly.

How did this crazy scheme get floated? It was in response to a court ruling last year that declared Canada’s marijuana law unconstitutional because they fail to recognize the drug has “medicinal uses.” Two hundred Canadians suffering from AIDS and other ailments have been granted exemptions already.

The mob must be doing cartwheels. I can see them all lining up in front of the Parliament Buildings in Ottawa to get their Pot Caregivers Licence. I have a feeling that they are going to find 15 million “AIDS patients” in Canada without any difficulty and become as rich as Bill Gates used to be.

Pot is likely to become one of our growth industries and this scheme will rank with the millions of dollars pointlessly spent on gun registration. Judging from the media the mobsters were the only ones who didn’t line up for licences. Surprise! Surprise!

Then you have a prominent Canadian bank official recently puffing the idea to the federal government of reducing competition in the banking industry to three major banks. This, he says, is in order to fight off threatened takeovers by U.S. banks. What would the next logical step be – one Canadian bank? They could call it My Bank, with the slogan: “Your Bank Is ‘My Bank.'”

Now we have federal legislation coming down the pike that will allow police to break the law in order fight those who break the law. When they infiltrate the mob, the RCMP officers can’t wear their uniforms. I can guarantee they will be spotted by any wide-awake mobster. The police have been breaking the law for years. How do you think they have been catching speeders doing 150 km? They have to do 160.

The good news is that the cops will be allowed to commit most crimes, except murder, assault causing bodily harm, sexual offenses and obstruction of justice. (They will not be allowed, I have been informed, to kill any unborn babies. That still requires a medical licence.) Police officers would have to be authorized by senior officials designated by the Solicitor-General or provincial ministers. (Please don’t make too big a list or the mob will be passing it around.)

The new legislation will extend the government’s ability to confiscate Òthe proceeds of crime from some 40 listed crimes to almost all indictable offenses.Ó Crime proceeds will become the property of the citizens of Canada. Will Toronto Police Chief Julian Fantino please save me a Bentley?

Bill Gates was on the phone. I knew it was Bill because he always starts off complaining. “What a horrible year I’ve had, Frank! I’ve lost 39 billion dollars! I don’t know how we’re going to get along and we’re expecting another child. And we’re putting another addition on the house.”

“I know what you’re talking about – I’ve had to scrape the bottom of the barrel a few times myself.” I sympathized.

“Yes,” said Bill, “I heard that you’ve had to sell a few of your yachts.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him they were just the ones floating around my bathtub. But that’s what happens when rumours about my wealth get spread around. I thought I would cheer Bill up by approaching him with a new business opportunity.

“Have you heard about the Canadian government legalizing pot for medicinal purposes?”

“No!” he laughed. “Really? You’d need the whole U.S. army to police that.”

“They’re going to be called something like Pot Caregivers and they’re going to be licenced. Do you realize what that means?”

“Yes,” he said, and I could almost hear him smiling, “It sounds like a bigger thing than Microsoft!”

“Yes, and it could do a lot of good.”

“Yes,” said Bill. “For us.”