My Darling Baby:

It is with great excitement that I sit and write my first letter to you. It is amazing to me that you have been with us for such a short period of time and though you are only the size of a pea, you have already filled our lives with much excitement, joy and love. About four weeks ago you started to let my body know you were alive, small changes but enough that I felt you saying “I’m here with you Mommy.” After a couple of weeks passed I knew it was time to confirm your existence. When the tests came back positive, I knew you were here, a part of our lives, my heart swelled with joy and love. I couldn’t stop hugging myself and anyone else around. I wanted to stand on top of a tall building and yell out to the world that you were alive.

I knew your daddy would be excited and I wanted to share the news with him in a memorable way. I knew any way would be wonderful but I wanted to do something different. I decided not to tell him until the next night when we were out at a baseball game, one of your daddy’s favorite things. I told him right before the game started. His reaction was grander than I could have imagined. He glowed, smiled, hugged me and immediately reached out to touch you, he stayed this way throughout most of the game – his love for you already so present.

The next big step was telling your brothers. Your brothers have the most amazing relationship, they love each other so openly, they enjoy each other’s company and find great comfort in being together. We expected that Michael, age four, would be excited. He has expressed an interest in being a big brother for awhile. However, we were not sure how Patrick, age 11, would take the news. Your daddy and I talked about how we should tell them and decided it would be best to do it separately, telling Patrick first.

Daddy and I sat down with Patrick and told him we had some news to share. That it was okay if he did not immediately feel excited or overjoyed with what we were going to tell him and that we had a lot of time to adjust and prepare for what was to come. We then told him about you, that I was pregnant and we would be having a baby in January. Patrick smiled and replied “That is great! I have been thinking about having a baby sister for awhile now.” After a sigh of relief I reminded Patrick that you could be a boy, to which he smiled and simply responded “And that would be okay, too.”

We decided to tell Michael next. Patrick wanted to be there when Michael found out so the four of us climbed on to daddy’s and my bed where we read a book about having a baby. Once we were finished reading we turned to the page that showed a baby about the same size as you. We told Michael that you were inside of me and that you were about this size. He smiled, reached out to touch you and said to me “You are having a baby.” I responded “Yes, Michael we are having a baby.” The four of us sat in bed for a while looking at books, talking, cuddling and quietly celebrating you as a family.

The next morning Michael woke up, sat up in bed, looked at me and said “I can’t wait for our baby to be born.” None of us can wait. You have become such a part of our lives already. My darling baby we love you. May you continue to grow in peace and know we are here with you.