Radio therapist Dr. Laura would say they’re “shacked up;” your grandparents might say they’re “living in sin.” Now, social science backs up what was until recently the common moral belief: living together before marriage is bad news.
David Popenoe, a Rutgers university sociologist and Barbara Defoe Whitehead, author of the book Divorce Culture, as co-authors of the report “Should We Live Together? What Young Adults Need to Know About Cohabitation Before Marriage” by the National Marriage Project, found that there are “clear and present dangers for women and children,” in common-law relationships, and that such unions endanger the stability of possible future marriages.
Today, more than half of all American marriages are preceded by a “trial marriage,” whereby the couple lives together before exchanging wedding vows. Sixty per cent of high school seniors, the report notes, felt living together before marriage was a good idea, to “find out whether they (a couple) really get along.”
But the report found living together actually increases the likelihood the marriage will end in divorce. Also, women in common-law unions are more likely to be victims of domestic violence, while their children are more likely to be physically and sexually abused.
According to a 1996 census report, there are 920,640 common-law couples in Canada, an increase of more than 200,000 since 1991. By contrast, right now there are 5,779,720 married couples, a slight increase from 5,682,815 over the same period. In Quebec, almost one in four couples is living common-law.
Larry Bumprass, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin, is quoted in the Feb. 6 issue of The Economist as saying that people who live together before getting married are already more doubtful about marriage. However, Fr. Joseph Christensen, a Nova Scotia priest who wrote a doctoral thesis on the Church’s pastoral response to cohabitating couples, told The Interim that common-law unions do not require the same degree of commitment as a marriage, and that “the back door is always open.”
Furthermore, by living together before getting married, a couple inadvertently “eliminates the courtship from the marriage process.” The partners fail truly to get to know each other. While some people insist that marriage stultifies a couple’s relationship, a 1994 Family Research Council survey found that monogamous married couples report significantly higher sexual and emotional satisfaction than people who cohabitate.
As Popenoe says, “Living (common-law) seems like a harmless, even a progressive, family trend until you look at the evidence.”
avid Popenoe, a Rutgers university sociologist and Barbara Defoe Whitehead, author of the book Divorce Culture, as co-authors of the report “Should We Live Together? What Young Adults Need to Know About Cohabitation Before Marriage” by the National Marriage Project, found that there are “clear and present dangers for women and children,” in common-law relationships, and that such unions endanger the stability of possible future marriages.
Today, more than half of all American marriages are preceded by a “trial marriage,” whereby the couple lives together before exchanging wedding vows. Sixty per cent of high school seniors, the report notes, felt living together before marriage was a good idea, to “find out whether they (a couple) really get along.”
But the report found living together actually increases the likelihood the marriage will end in divorce. Also, women in common-law unions are more likely to be victims of domestic violence, while their children are more likely to be physically and sexually abused.
According to a 1996 census report, there are 920,640 common-law couples in Canada, an increase of more than 200,000 since 1991. By contrast, right now there are 5,779,720 married couples, a slight increase from 5,682,815 over the same period. In Quebec, almost one in four couples is living common-law.
Larry Bumprass, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin, is quoted in the Feb. 6 issue of The Economist as saying that people who live together before getting married are already more doubtful about marriage. However, Fr. Joseph Christensen, a Nova Scotia priest who wrote a doctoral thesis on the Church’s pastoral response to cohabitating couples, told The Interim that common-law unions do not require the same degree of commitment as a marriage, and that “the back door is always open.”
Furthermore, by living together before getting married, a couple inadvertently “eliminates the courtship from the marriage process.” The partners fail truly to get to know each other. While some people insist that marriage stultifies a couple’s relationship, a 1994 Family Research Council survey found that monogamous married couples report significantly higher sexual and emotional satisfaction than people who cohabitate.
