Editor’s Note: Please be advised that the author alludes to some sexually explicit terms in this column.Despite Vancouver media’s attempts, we never learned just how the recent Rock for Choice event worked out. I mean, we heard lots about it before it occurred, but for some reason either the media checked out of the festivities or just plain forgot that they even happened.

I pondered such thoughts as I considered whether the event would be indicative of pro-choice Canada. I mean, given the fact that we are constantly told the vast majority of Canadians are “pro-choice,” the Rock for Choice event should merely have reflected mainstream Canada.

Well, I’m not sure what stream these guys came from, but it wasn’t my stream.

It was billed as five nights of music, a conference and a “chain of resistance rally and march” from Jan. 8-12. The topics of interest to mainstream Canada in the “conference” section of the Rock for Choice event were: “Why Am I Here?” (This is always a good topic, especially at pro-abortion events. The jury is still out on this one.)

My favorite topics (I’m sure you want to get the tapes of these for your office) were Nomy Lamm’s “Bad A–, Fat A– Workshop,” and “Making your own P—-y Protector.” There was also, “Moving Beyond Trans 101: Can Trannies (Transsexuals), Queers and Feminists Play in the Same Sandbox?”

I would never lie to you. Truth is often stranger than fiction. Is it not amazing that Canadians by the droves were not lined up to hear these fascinating workshops by the representatives of pro-choice Canada?

After the attendees padded their minds with such intellectually stimulating discussions, they vented their anger and emotions in a large rally and march on Sunday.

Not!

I’m uncertain if anyone actually came to their march. Certainly the media took no note of the sizeable crowds seeking to “stand in solidarity with your pro-choice allies.”

The website that promoted this event stated that the truckloads of money raised from this annual event would be donated to a worthy cause: “One hundred per cent of the dollars raised from our concerts and our first-ever conference goes directly to the Everywoman’s Health Centre, the Elizabeth Bagshaw Women’s Clinic, and the Pro-Choice Action Network.”

I am sure – honest I am – that tons of money was raised. There had to be. After all, wasn’t it mainstream pro-choice Canada that attended the event?

And why weren’t you there?