With a federal election just around the corner, Canada’s political parties are busy churning out new slogans. If past elections are any indication, we’ll soon be called to “Make Our Voice Heard” “For A Positive Future” since now is “A Time For Change.” While the slogans will all be different, you can be sure they’ll all be similarly meaningless. But what if parties had to say what they were thinking? What if they had to be blunt and truthful; what would their slogans look like then? We submit to you that they might look a lot like the ones included below:
LIBERALS
Proudly aborting the next generation of voters
Under New Management!!! Serving the same old menu
For Lent, we gave up our principles
More free votes in Parliament …when our leader says we may
Now 100 per cent Jean Chrétien-free
CONSERVATIVES
We’re against gay marriage … for now
Two parties – one leader – no abortion policy
Fiscally? Conservative! Morally? Bankrupt!
CHRISTIANS WELCOME … at the back of the bus
We’re the lesser of two evils!
NEW DEMOCRATS
Criminalizing Christianity one step at a time
We spell “Compassion” M-O-N-E-Y
The 10th Commandment was meant for rich people
More government is always the answer
If we can’t elevate the poor, we’ll beat down the rich
CHRISTIAN HERITAGE PARTY
Vote for the devil you know, a devil you don’t know … or vote CHP
Millions of Christians in one country. Just imagine …
God owns your vote. Invest it wisely
They’re butchers or bystanders. We’re pro-life. What are you?
Pragmatism be damned! Vote your conscience this time!*
* Just as God’s name can be used both properly and in vain, so too other words, commonly abused, can have a proper usage. For those who might be offended by the inclusion of one of the words in this slogan, consider for a moment whether its use might be proper. This is not casual cursing – this sentence says exactly what it means to say.
