I get more of a laugh when I read some serious stuff than when I read the comics. (And they’re supposed to be funny.)

After police arrested 32 spectators recently for fighting and various drinking offenses and handed out $13,000 in fines at an annual charity hockey game between two student residences at St. Francis Xavier University in Antigonish, Nova Scotia, the RCMP said it was a relatively quiet night. Despite charges against the students of public intoxication, underage drinking, illegal possession of liquor, possession of marijuana, causing a disturbance by fighting, assaulting a police officer and impaired driving, Bud MacInnis, the area manager said the game went well. This sounds like a great place to throw a party.

Then after the announcement by President Bush that he was cutting funds for overseas abortions, you have an amusing understatement by Patricia Ireland, president of the pro-abortion National Organization for Women, stating: “We can’t count on the White House now.”

Yes, Patricia, your President Sleazeball is gone. On the way out the door of the White House your greatest fan, President Clinton, pardoned a slew of his convicted friends and Marc Rich, a rich rogue convicted of income tax evasion and hiding in Switzerland since 1983, (where you can’t be extradited for tax evasion).

Rich owes the U.S. something like $32 million in back taxes. Rich gave over a million dollars to Clinton’s presidential campaign and a healthy amount for Hilary’s Senate race and for a slew of other pro-abort Democrat candidates. Hillary gets $8 million upfront for her forthcoming autobiography, allegedly a tell-all about Monica Lewinsky and Barbra Streisand and hubby’s legion of sexual liaisons. I guess Bill Clinton’s theory is that you can’t tatter a tattered reputation. Good luck on your book, Hillary. I hope you dedicate it to Bill and split the proceeds with him.

Recently there was a news story on LifeSite Daily News about five police cruisers that turned up at the first peaceful picket of the Abortion Care Clinic at 960 Lawrence Ave. W., Suite 501 in Toronto, quietly operating there for the past two years. The police were there to protect the abortion mill. (There are not too many David Packers around.) The property manager came out of the building accompanied by two police officers and said before some of the 30 picketers carrying placards that there were no abortions taking place. This was while someone was in having an abortion on the fifth floor! (Remember Mike Harris, you promised no more new abortion clinics.)

Then very recently we had former Bay Street high flier Michael Holoday being convicted by a judge on 14 counts of defrauding clients and two brokerages in connection with about $22 million in trading losses during the early 1990s. It even took the judge 5 hours to find him guilty of all charges. Holoday called himself a “lousy” trader.

Holoday was still allowed to remain on bail in spite of serious misgivings from the Crown lawyer who was worried about Holoday’s “future appearances” in view of the “damning” judgement. But the judge said that Holoday’s scheduled appearance for sentencing would be a “test” for him. If he didn’t appear, police would come after him, she warned. No mention of lifting Holoday’s passport. If Holoday catches the next flight to Switzerland, let’s hope the judge doesn’t end up sitting beside him.

I just can’t get over the fuss being made about Stockwell Day’s $792,000 court settlement. Jean Crouton was delighted to be able to call it a “boondoggle.” The poor lawyer who was allegedly defamed received only $60,000 as part of the settlement and more than half the total – $474,000 went to pay Goddard’s lawyer for his legal fees at $160 an hour. In lawyer parlance this is called letting the meter run. When you make the mistake of “insulting” a lawyer, just remember some day there could be a judge adjudicating this matter – and most likely he is an ex-lawyer.

What about the $2 million taxpayer dollars that was paid to Brian Mulroney a few years ago as an out-of-court settlement for insulting him? Who gave the okay to launch an investigation that publicly maligned Mulroney on the flimsiest of evidence? No lowly bureaucrat would have dared take on a former prime minister. Where does the buck stop? Parliament Hill? Find that culprit and tell him to get his chequebook out.

There are 14 RCMP investigations going on currently in Crouton’s riding – maybe they should make it 15?