Joe Campbell
Dingwall was telling me about a friend who had a heart attack. “Fortunately,” he said, “it occurred in a cab and the doctor who was driving stabilized him and took him to the hospital.”
“The cab driver was a doctor?”
“An immigrant who isn’t licensed to practice here.”
“We’re short of doctors,” I said.
“I know,” Dingwall replied, “but if we licensed all the immigrant doctors, we’d be short of cab drivers.” He went on to tell me about a woman who had a baby in a cab another doctor was driving.
“Mother and child are well, I hope.”
“They are now,” he said, “but it was a difficult birth.”
“Was the baby delivered by Cesarean?
“I didn’t get the doctor’s name.”
He left me wondering what I should do in a medical emergency; call 911 or a cab. Maybe I could get the cab companies to tell me the cars their doctors operate. I wouldn’t want to call a cab for medical reasons and find out that the driver is a veterinarian.
Immigrants awaiting professional re-certification enrich our lives. I’m reminded of this every time I patronize my favourite pizza parlor. It’s not because of the pizza that it’s my favourite. It’s because of the pizza deliveryman. He’s an electronics engineer. Whenever my laptop acts up or my DVD player breaks down, I order a pizza.
I also have a favourite restaurant for fine dining. Depending on where I sit, my server can be a pharmacist or a philosopher with an advanced degree in existentialism. If I want a second opinion on a prescription from my doctor, I choose the pharmacist. Otherwise, I prefer the existentialist. We’ve had many an interesting discussion about whether essence precedes existence or vice versa. The food’s pretty interesting, too.
Although I own a degree in education, I haven’t taught a stroke. I qualified as a teacher so that if I failed at what I really wanted to do I’d have something to fall back on. Fortunately, I never fell that far. Unlike an immigrant teacher who’s babysitting at a local daycare centre, I could take over a classroom tomorrow. She can’t. Even though she wants to, she’s not professionally certified to teach here. Even though I don’t want to, I am.
If I could, I’d gladly give her my teaching certificate. We’re downsizing and it’s cluttering up the house. But it’s not transferable. Neither is my education degree. Several years ago, I tried selling it on the Internet. I didn’t get a single offer.
The teacher has a soul mate in the janitor. He’s an architect. Both are considering careers in politics. They’ve noticed that politicians don’t need to be credentialed, certified or licensed to do their jobs. They don’t even need to be qualified. They just need to be elected.
I don’t have a regular accountant. Lately, though, I’ve received excellent financial advice from a cashier at the supermarket I go to. I knew she was an immigrant but I didn’t realize she was an accountant until I complained about the price of wild rice and she showed me how to budget. Understandably, she wants her foreign credentials recognized here. But it would be a mixed blessing. She’s really good at ringing up the groceries.
Despite my experience with underemployed immigrants, I was taken aback when Dingwall told me he knows a theologian who shines shoes.
“What’s unusual about that?” he replied, when I voiced my surprise. “We both know a carpenter who saves souls.”
He said it’s not so much the theologian’s foreign credentials that limit his job options as the lack of employment opportunities in a secular society.
“So, any day except Sunday,” he said, “he’ll shine your shoes for pay. If you show up on Holy Thursday, he’ll wash your feet for nothing.”
I suggested that it’s preferable a theologian shine shoes than a shoe shiner practice theology. “That depends on the theology,” Dingwall said. “I’d rather consult a shoe shiner about first principles than some of the theologians at large. If their internships included shining shoes, theologians might be more likely to keep both feet on the ground.”
“The next thing you’ll be telling me is that medical internships should include cab driving.”
“Of course they should,” he said. “Cab drivers learn not to keep you waiting.”
