Interim writer, Joe Campbell, Light is Right By Joe Campbell When she called by, he was watching the news on one of the local channels. “That thin, raspy voice makes me shiver,” she said. “I can turn up the thermostat,” he replied. “I’d rather you turned off the TV. Whenever I hear that woman read the news, I cringe. She [...]
By Joe Campbell My friend Fernsby has new neighbours, a dog and his people. Several months ago, they moved into the house next door to his. The people, a married couple without children, rise early and set off for separate jobs to earn money to support the dog. Some days the dog sleeps in. Other days he lounges around the back yard, [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell Of course I believe in ghosts. I’ve been one. So have most writers who detoured through public relations on the way to more honourable callings. Chances are they’ve ghostwritten letters, speeches, articles, even books, not to mention jokes, apologies, eulogies, and marriage proposals. In public relations, things are not as they seem. For some years, [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell Looking distraught, my friend Bidwell confessed that he misses Mass on Sundays. “Occasionally?” I asked. “Repeatedly,” he replied. “Well, don’t confess it to me,” I said. ”Confess it to your pastor.” “Oh,” Bidwell said, “he and the bishop are well aware that I and many others in the parish miss Sunday Mass.” “I thought you [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell My friend Dingwall has moved into an assisted living residence. When he told me, I said I didn’t think he was ready for assisted living. “I’m not,” he replied. “I chose it to escape assisted dying.” He explained that besides meals, light housekeeping, recreation, entertainment and transportation, the residence he chose provides spiritual enhancement. “If [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell I used to labour under a terrible delusion. I assumed that my weight had stayed the same over the last thirty or so years because of will power. But it’s not the strength of my will that has kept me from getting fat. It’s the size of my tableware. Gut size varies directly with plate [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell I guess my first misstep was trying to play and sing like Louis Armstrong. Hearing him perform was love at first sound and no matter how often I heard him I wanted to hear more. I suspect my second misstep was organizing a Dixieland band and appearing in public. This enabled listeners to record my [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell I’m really impressed when automakers, drug producers and meat packers recall faulty merchandise and repair or replace it free of charge. Cynics say they are just trying to limit their liability. Either that or they’ve discovered that massive recalls with riveting fanfare are good for business. I’d rather believe that these intrepid entrepreneurs are developing [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell I’ve tried to believe in equality. Truly, I have. But try as I may, I no longer can. Early on, I noticed that doctors get paid whether their patients live or die, lawyers whether their clients walk or go to jail, mutual fund managers whether their customers make money or lose it. Now there’s equality, [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell My vision began changing in 2009. Not my mental vision. I can still see what’s wrong with the world. My physical vision. I can no longer see what’s wrong with my wardrobe. Which is a bit of a blessing. What’s not a blessing is that, thanks to macular degeneration, my central vision deteriorated rather abruptly. [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell When he said he was a convert, several who heard him turned away. Maybe they thought a convert was a cross between a convict and a pervert. “I converted to Catholicism a year ago,” he explained, as they dispersed. A cradle Catholic, I’ve always been interested in conversion stories. I asked about his. “I was [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell "The Prime Minister dropped the writ,” Molder said. “He did what?” said Bimson. “I’m afraid we’re in for an election.” “I should think so. A Prime Minister who’s that careless is no longer fit to serve.” “The Governor General issued the writ today.” “I’ll bet she was angry when the Prime Minister dropped it.” “She [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell So now I have to worry about sitting. Prolonged sitting, the media tell me, could shorten my life. They say it’s a risk factor like smoking, fattening and aging. Aging? Although I stopped smoking and fattening years ago and survived, no one I know of who stopped aging lived to tell about it. I’d rather [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell My good friend Bidwell is reducing his possessions and his weight. In common parlance, Bidwell is downsizing. As he is moving from a large two-storey house to a small bungalow, he sees no other viable option. When we last met, I found him brooding over several boxes of books he intended to give away. “It’s [...]
Light is Right Joe Campbell Normally, I don’t publicly engage in sex talk. But when a progressive thinker corners me at a cocktail party, I can’t always choose the topic. “Homosexual orientation is innate and fixed,” she said. “You mean gays and lesbians are born with it?” I replied. “It’s due to nature, not nurture.” “Like being masculine or feminine?” [...]