My days were numbered before they ever came to be.
Hi there! I’ve just arrived, body and soul in the upper reaches of my mom’s right fallopian tube. Thank God, nothing prevented my dad’s sperm from swimming all the way to reach my mom’s egg and no chemicals prevented her from providing that egg as usual, each month.
So far, so good! Now all I have to do is travel this fallopian trail for three or four more days. I hope I do not find my way blocked by scars from some infection. No, I really don’t want to end up as an ectopic pregnancy … so dangerous for both my mom and me.
I pray that after I escape this dark and winding path and reach my mother’s womb, I’ll find that I implant and flourish there with warmth and nourishment. I just can’t wait to behold the day when I am born and see the light and see my mother’s happy smile as I look back at her for the first time. I do so hope that no one has encouraged her to take the morning-after pill, for if they have, I’ll wither in the womb; and if she’s taken RU-486, I only have a few more weeks to live.
What’s more, I want to see my mom live out her life and see me graduate and show her my own kids. I don’t want to learn some day that all this was prevented by breast cancer and the pill. Right now, I’m really looking forward to my life on earth. I think it is will be wonderful, despite its woes, so many sights and sounds and stories waiting to be told. But even more, I want to see my destiny fulfilled, when at last, my earthly life has passed and I am born again into that “wonderful light” that never fails, that time that never ends. I want a chance on earth to know the grace of God, and know his will, and by his grace, to have the chance to do his will and earn my heaven so. Please, mom! Perhaps you wonder if you can support me properly. Please don’t deprive me of my dream, my proper destiny. Please let me live.
I wonder, too, if I’m your only child. Have there been others who have not made it through this dark fallopian pass and have not long enough survived to reach this world intact? Shall I have sisters, brothers or even one to play with when I’m young and later to rely on through the years? Perhaps there are such siblings who just might have been, but never were, because of fear and cautious birth control.
How many others, through the years throughout the world, have failed to show up at God’s great “wedding feast,” because his invitation fell on deafened ears? How many now is known only to God. How many, misled by senseless pride, now, by fashion, dubbed “autonomy,” live out the new Pelagian fantasy, which Satan chose? How many now have ghostly siblings who have never been? Have they been bartered for career, security, status, travel, stuff or wealth? These things are known only to God. But this I know, that there is joy in heaven when we trust.