By Andrea Procher
Chivalry is dead!” Such is the oft-heard cry of the 1990s non-feminist female. Believe it or not, guys, there are more than a few women who are still honoured when you open a door or pull out a chair for them. But before we go blaming the men for a lack of chivalry, we must consider how much the feminist movement has contributed to the destruction of the “gentleman.”
A superficial look at feminism shows it to be a clamoring for women’s freedom, equality and independence. I cannot say it is an inherently evil movement; admittedly, some good has come from it. However, it is definitely out of control. It has gone from a woman’s right to vote and receive equal pay to the perceived right to “wear the pants” in the family and pursue a career to the neglect of her family.
Is this what God intended? Are mothers supposed to spend 40 hours a week at the office while trying to create a home? Are children meant to be put in daycare so mommy can seek fulfillment in a career? Is family life to be sacrificed for designer clothes, sport utility vehicles and a fancy home? I hope not.
Yet this is the prevailing attitude, even among some Christians. And it affects not just women and children, but also men. I believe it destroys a man’s natural pride. I’m not referring to the deadly sin, but rather to the pride that comes from working hard and financially supporting a family. When wives work unnecessarily, husbands may no longer feel needed.
As well, this concept attempts to make men and women the same. This kind of thinking, though, is like saying a truck is the same as a car. Sure, they share qualities in common, but their purposes are essentially different. Besides, what would be the point in making a car and a truck exactly the same?
Similarly, men and women are equal but different. This is how we were created, like it or not. We have differing purposes in life. Men are generally better at math while women usually excel in English skills. Men are naturally bigger and stronger than women. Females are better at short-term planning; males can more easily see long-term outcomes.
We have been given complementary but dissimilar roles in the family. Men are said to be the head of a household while women are the heart. I suppose some women might object to this idea, but I wonder if they have considered the awesome responsibility and privilege of being the heart of a family. Women are the ones endowed with the special duty of creating a loving home and atmosphere for their husband and children. We are the ones who spend the most time with the kids; we must teach them to become kind, responsible adults who have God as the focus of their lives. Talk about having a direct influence on society! How awesome.
As soon as feminists realize the importance of motherhood, perhaps we can get back to letting men be men and women be women. Who knows? Maybe chivalry will spontaneously return. But until that happens, I want to encourage men to break free from feminazi oppression.
I started seeing a very fine young man about three months ago. Adam is wonderful and faith-filled; but he never opened a door for me until I asked him to do so. He quickly and lovingly obliged and explained the reason he had not done these things beforehand. A number of men think, “If women want to be treated as equals, we’ll treat them as equals.” No more door-opening, chair-holding or coats across puddles.
I can understand the reasoning behind the thought, but I proceeded to tell Adam a little story. An unsuspecting older man once opened a door for a young woman who happened to be a feminist. She haughtily addressed him with a glare and said, “You didn’t have to open that door for me because I’m a woman!” – to which he replied, “I opened it not because you’re a woman but because I’m a gentleman.”Adam is now re-learning the art of chivalry and will soon have me feeling like a queen, but it’s sad to think that other men may have been as adversely affected as he. So all men: I apologize on behalf of all women for the loss of dignity the feminist movement has caused you. I implore you to take a stand and dare to be gentlemen!