That’s how I predict the outcome of the forthcoming federal election. Remember, dear reader, that I was the only columnist on earth who about a year before the past Ontario provincial election called Mike Harris to win. (Many people thought it was just fluke on my part predicting Harris would win – others were sure it was.)
I wish I could put in the ‘Christian Heritage Party’ where the word ‘Reform’ is – but I’m pragmatic about politics knowing that deeply devout Christians will go to any means to rationalize their reasons for not voting for a pro-life party. Urging people not to vote for pro-abortion parties or even pro-abortion candidates makes climbing Mount Everest look easy.
You have Prime Minister Jean Chretien, running off to Rome to meet the Pope (at election time) to legitimize his claim to being a Catholic and then running back to Canada to promote his anti-Catholic/anti-Christian agenda. Chretien is pushed by phalanx of pagan/secularist/Marxist camp followers (Goldenberg/Hosek et al) further and further away from any Christian concepts. “Roseanne Skoke is the enemy! Go get her!” they scream hysterically. “The only Christians we want in our caucus are devout Liberals.”
Now readers are going to find it hard to believe that I actually heard the following phone conversation on my cellular phone while walking past Parliament Buildings in Ottawa recently. (But I’ll take a vow on a mountain of Liberal Red Books that it is true.)
“Fidel Castro? …Fidel – is that you? … You sound a bit like Stalin. Oh I’m sorry. It’s Jean Chretien. You know the prime minister of Canada. You know the country that’s always sucking around you… That’s right. Canada…Oh, the wife’s fine. How’s your wives and children? I mean – wife and children…Fifteen, isn’t it now? Children, I mean? …All fine – that’s good.”
“I was talking to President Bill Clinton recently in Washington and he would like to smooth out diplomatic relations with you. All Bill wants you to do – is for you to conduct fair and honest elections in Cuba. Yeah, Clinton only wants free elections in Cuba. That’s his price for diplomatic recognition.”
“…No, Fidel, you don’t have to sleep in Lincoln’s bed….You’re in favor of democratic elections in Cuba! … You are?! … But you just want to know the names of the offshore Chinese businessmen who gave those illegal millions for Clinton’s re-election campaign? … Well I think it will come out in the investigation. And you want me to ask Clinton when that Flowers woman who is charging him with sexual assault will end up in court? I’ll ask him.
And you want to know why the only way that you can be defeated for re-election to a seat in Congress is that you’re a convicted well known axe-murderer? I’ll certainly ask Bill.”
“…Well, Fidel, you don’t have to look at the USA for an example of democracy – why not look at Canada? You want to know how I can appoint 75 women to safe seats in the House of Commons without nomination meetings? And you want to know how I managed to gerrymander Roseanne Skoke out of her seat in the House of Commons?
And you want to know how it is that all nine Canadian Supreme Court Justices that I appointed and all the cabinet ministers that I selected are all pro-abortion – including the justice minister? Are they just examples of democracy at work?”
“…I didn’t call you to be insulted!! Clinton’s right! Fidel, you’re nothing but a communist bootlicker!”
I could hear Chretien slamming the phone down. He called back immediately to say that his opinions voiced would not interfere with Canada-Cuba trade relations.
We have the choice between an awful long shot – the Christian Heritage Party – or five abortion-loving parties. So the voters’ choice is between eating a somewhat less than desirable apple (Reform – leader Preston Manning is pro-life) – totally rotten apples – the NDP – Tories and Libs (minus Skoke – Wappel – McTeague – Elsie Wayne and a few other courageous heroes). If I don’t have a pro-life candidate running – I think I’ll just go to a polling booth and vote for Fidel. At least I know where the Cuban dictator is coming from.