I read in the paper recently about a balaclava-wearing hold-up man waiting patiently in line at the bank in order to stick it up. An alert bank clerk noticed this guy in the lineup and dialed 911, and the cops came and took him away. The would- be hold- up man explained to the police that he didn’t want to stand in the line in view of everybody and he thought that no one would be able to recognize him when he got up to the counter if he was wearing his mask. And there’s a certain perverse logic to this.

Then I see front page photo-op of Jean Chretien and his wife, Aline, donating some dumb Canadian carving to the Pope that’s going to end up in the Vatican basement before the day is over. What the Pope wanted from Jean wasn’t another Eskimo carving but a law to prohibit abortion and not a law to legitimize further erosion of family values (Bill C-33).

The Pope was also seeking continued protection for Catholic schools that was guaranteed by our constitution over 100 years ago. The Pope wants moral values put front and center – he doesn’t need any more household furnishings. The Pope is going to have a garage sale one of these days and we’re going to be embarrassed at what he’s going to try and unload.

Then you have Pamela Wallin, a CBC feminist announcer, recently trying to put a halo around one, Henry Morgentaler in an hour- long rehash of his life. Pamela gushingly describes Morgentaler in a letter to a pro-life writer as a cross between Mother Teresa of Calcutta and Winston Churchill. I quote: “…Morgentaler’s own personal story …is one of triumph over adversity and his tenacity over adversity and commitment is what provoked our interest.” (If Henry ends up on a stamp, I’m outta here!) Hey, I’ve got a good one! An interview with Saddam Hussain?

Now we come to another crazy situation that defies normal logic. The NDP Saskatchewan government has got it in for their top prosecutor, Randy Kirkham, because he WON a case against Robert Latimer. Latimer for 10 years for killing his 12-year-old handicapped daughter using his truck’s exhaust pipe. Does Kirkham get a trip to the Saskatchewan Supreme Court as a reward? No, those NDPers in Saskatchewan let Latimer out on bail because he was needed to look after his farm and drive his death truck around. What next? Paul Bernardo getting a weekend in Las Vegas?

Would you believe they charged prosecutor Kirkham with “attempting to obstruct justice” and allegations of jury tampering in connection with the Latimer case? Poor Kirkham is accused of having the RCMP interview prospective jurors before the trial about their views on mercy killing, abortion and religion.

Big deal! Do you recall that Morgentaler’s lawyers in the crucial Morgentaler case a few years back brought in a FIRM of American jury experts to eliminate potential jurors who might even be faintly hostile to the killing of the unborn? If you remember they successfully challenged people for the jury who were married, people bathed regularity, people with children (a large number could get you a quick exit), people with strong religious convictions, and pro-lifers for sure! They accepted others who claimed that they could be “fair-minded” and had “no strong opinions on abortion.” If you believe that, I’ve got some mining stock in the attic that’s available.

The Morgentaler case was over before it began. Why didn’t Ontario launch ‘tampering with jury’ charges and ask for a new trial? Now Ontario has the colossal nerve to supply Howard Morton, an outside prosecutor, for the Saskatchewan case to prosecute Kirkham, when they wouldn’t launch an appeal themselves for the same procedure.

A prominent Ontario criminal lawyer told me that the Crown in Ontario has always had access to jury lists and has never hesitated to ‘check’ out a panel of jurors beforehand. If it’s not wrong in Ontario, why is it so wrong in Saskatchewan?

If Kirkham keeps winning cases like he does- that poor guy’s never going to be able to get out of jail.

I wonder if they’re still making that series, “That’s Incredible” –if so, I’ve got some good leads for them. It can’t be any more bizarre then what we’ve been getting in real life.