The middle-aged nursing instructor gently reached for my trembling hand. “Having an abortion isn’t such a big deal,” she said, her voice carrying the same reassuring tone that had gotten me through countless days and nights of gruelling study, exams and pre-dawn hospital shifts.
She continued, “It’ll be over within five minutes and you’ll not have to deal with it (meaning my out-of-wedlock pregnancy) any more.” What a monstrous lie that was.
First came the depression. A blackness that descends like a blanket and becomes a part of you. What had they done with my baby’s little body? Had they buried it or burnt it? Too afraid of the answer to ask the question. If only I could forget.
A number of pro-life groups now offer assistance for women dealing with post-abortion trauma.
Then the guilt. Crippling self-condemnation that disqualifies you from everything and everyone. If only I had cared enough about my own child, not to kill it. Then maybe I would be worthy of healing others.
I said good-bye to nursing school and went full-time into trying to forget.
Price of forgetfulness
But the miscarriage reminded me. Of the other child who had not been lost. But destroyed. Plenty of booze and drugs to drown out the memory. But not the pain. A ruptured ectopic pregnancy and the pronouncement of a childless future was exactly what I deserved. An eye for an eye. The price of forgetfulness had been paid in full.
Then a pro-lifer told me I didn’t need to forget. Only to forgive. Myself. My boyfriend. The doctor who had taken my child’s life. Sixteen years and a lot of help later, I’m almost there.
But remembering has also been difficult. Somewhat obscure. No photo album. No gravestone. Always wishing that there was a proper way for a mother to memorialize the one she never allowed to be born.
Finally, there is. She’s a lovely lady named “Rachel Mourning” – a monument “In Memory of all Unborn Children.”
Kneeling at her feet one spring day not too long ago, I heard her softly whisper, “Here is where you should pour out your grief, for your child was real and had a right to be mourned.”
”Rachel” has defeated the monstrous lie that women should forget about their aborted children. She is a reminder to the world that while we may have denied them their lives on earth, they still live! They are our children. And we will never forget them!
Thank you St. Catharines Right to Life and the Knights of Columbus for giving me and countless others a tangible reminder of our little ones. And Thank You God that those days of trying to forget the unforgettable are over.
The “Rachel Mourning” monument is located in Our Lady of Fatima Mausoleum at the Pleasantview Memorial Gardens in Fonthill, Ontario.
Kevorkian’s ‘humour’ gives new insights
Suicide doctor Jack Kevorkian’s success to date in eluding criminal charges for murder or assisted suicide has led to a certain brashness in responding to critics.
In a July 30 report of his address to the National Press Club in Washington, D.C., The Washington Post found Kevorkian to be at his blustering best. It’s long been apparent that Kevorkian believes he is consistently in the right and he doesn’t have any regard for those who disagree with his position on mercy killing. Allowing for the suicide doctor’s hyperbole and attention –seeking nature, some of the following comments from the press club address may be instructive:
On the Crucifixion of Christ:
“Christ…was that a dignified death? Do you think it’s dignified to hand from wood with nails through your hands and feet…slowly dying, with people jabbing spears in your side and people jeering?…Had Christ died in my van, with people around Him who loved Him… that would be far more dignified.”
On organ donation:
“Take the organs and save three or four lives, while one agonized life ends…But we can’t do that because it’s a sin, the church opposes it, the medical profession opposes it, transplant surgeons oppose it. They don’t even want to take organs from condemned criminals who want to donate when they’re executed. You got a bunch of insane people running our institutions.”
On the Pope:
“The pope has got his hands on our neck; he’s wringing it. I think he’s got a grip on our government. I know he has a grip on the Michigan Supreme Court. He owns it.”
“Women are more practical than men. Men, their mind is boggled with a bunch of hair-splitting philosophy and idealism… Woman are very practical and that’s why I think they can face (suicide) better than men. And they’re more in tune with nature.”
On the media:
“You’re wimps, all of you, all of you as a media. That’s why I consider it no honour to be here talking to you.”